Well drat, there’s already something called “Fivetran”. We’ll have to jump to “Sixtran”.
Absolutely great idea! And it could probably be used with many other intrinsics. The expressiveness of the language would be 10x more powerful…
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Some might call for Fortran++
But a better name per current syntax will be
NewFortran=Fortran202X-FortranBad+NewFortran
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Gorgeous!
It could be named PerlFortran, or Perltran, or ForPerl.
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Imagine using regex in a select case construct!
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That’ll be awesome but while at it, it will be good to also include ac-implied-do to wrap it for various intrinsic and user derived types.
That is perverse. I love it!!
I know there is some obfuscation competitions using C language:
https://www.ioccc.org/
I don’t know if obfuscation is used in Fortran, but it would become easy with PerlFortran.
Fortran 2057 will have ISO_PERL_BINDING.
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I can go you one better, ISO_COBOL_BINDING 
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This may be the fastest-growing thread in the history of Fortran Discourse.
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And Fortran 2057 could become the fastest-growing standard in history… And think we have still 35 years to elaborate it!
Millions of men will live on Mars and use Fortran 2057 every day. What a vision!
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For any Dune and Fortran fans here:
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Nobody can enter this thread if he has not eaten spice…
The Fortran Kwisatz Haderach is coming…
But as there is no computers on Dune, we need a new compiler for Mentats.
As hot as it is now in my part of the world, I expect to need a still suit any day now. Also, my joke about COBOL got me interested in if it was still a thing. Apparently it is. The COBOL wikipedia page makes for interesting reading.
I was particularly struck by the following paragraph
By 2019, the number of COBOL programmers was shrinking fast due
to retirements, leading to an impending skills gap in business
and government organizations which still use mainframe systems
for high-volume transaction processing. Efforts to rewrite systems
in newer languages have proven expensive and problematic, as has the
outsourcing of code maintenance, thus proposals to train more people in
COBOL are advocated.
Sound familiar?
The main problem of COBOL is that there is not yet a COBOL Discourse, as far I as know (or Google knows).
And although the latest standard is COBOL 2014, it seems to be still all uppercase…
And according to the wikipedia article, COBOL has had support for generic programming in the form of parameterized classes that can be instantiated to use any class or interface since 2002. Heavy sigh 
Look, Fortran can’t be chasing every fad from newfangled languages like COBOL. Slow and steady wins the race. Be happy if you get a half-baked generics feature in Fortran 2057. 
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OK, now, we’re all having fun here but this is not quite fair to the Fortran generics team that have been working very hard in the past two years or so so that we can get a very well designed generics feature in F202y.
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